Thursday, June 10, 2010

Saying My Peace.

It's not easy to post about Peace, in such a non-peaceful world.
Even as an Idealist, a Pacifist, I have my days and weeks of wondering,
"Will any of what I'm doing, ever make a real difference?" or "Will my legacy only be that I tried, but ultimately, I, and everyone like me, will fail----the world's peoples will continue to rail, to fight, to war with each other?"
There's no "clean" way to Peace, I am discovering. Sometimes, it means shouting back, but more often, it means whispering--even while others yell. It means holding one's hands up--not in surrender--but with a defensive stance, ever-ready with words of reason, and as clean and clear a heart, as one can summon.
This is where I am, right now, kids.
It's why I've not posted an entry at my beloved "Practice What You Peace", in so very, very long.
I'm troubled by the recent news that civilians are still being gunned down in the wars in Afghanistan, and Iraq. I'm troubled that it does not seem to matter WHO is President, these atrocities still occur.I'm troubled that loved ones in my life, still yell at me.For no reason, except that they are angry, and show little respect towards me.I'm troubled that it seems no matter how much I try to "still" the critic in my head, I still feel "inadequate", and not enough.That the humility I often feel, is simply insecurity, not the nod to the humility of Jesus Christ or Dr. MLK Jr., or Gandhi or other leaders of Peace that I desperately wish it were.
That maybe my life won't matter, in the end, for much at all.
That maybe none of this matters.
And then, as if on a cue from the cosmos....I think of my niece's smile, or the warm breath of my doggies, or when I'm in an audience, scanning the room, and seeing the eyes that focus in laser-like intensity on a poet reading their own words, and I think that while life is often hard--harder than as children we'd ever imagine it could be---it also has innumerable sweet moments.
And that's the reason, I guess, to keep on advocating for Peace.
For human, and civil rights, and justice, for ALL peoples--no matter their color, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, that the good moments, may always be (one day) much more plentiful, than the bad.
Here's to Peace.
And to no yelling.
Peace, kids.