Guess what? About two weeks ago, at the callbacks, I got the role I discussed in my last entry here at "Practice What You Peace".
I'm currently eating, sleeping, and drinking "Benetha", the name of the human being I hope to morph into(in the Feature-Length Film I cannot yet name), very soon.
She is quite different from me, and for that, I am grateful.
It will be challenging--a true journey--to become someone so filled with hate.
In discovering her hate-filled spirit, my hope and prayer is that my own spirit will be even more filled with the love that Benetha cannot seem to find, or feel.
Here's to stepping into another person's shoes.
May we all do so, and step lightly, and with hope.
Peace,kids.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Cruel Characters
A new Feature-Length-film being cast in Atlanta, which I auditioned for, has me:
Preparing for a callback which entails creating a Foster-"Mother"(I use the term "mother" quite loosely, here)who is a mouthy, cruel, selfish bigot who earns her dollars by "fostering" poor African-American children.
What causes someone to behave in a cruel fashion? Sociopathy? Spite? Previous abuse?
In terms of outcome: it. just. doesn't. matter.
Hurt children, lost children, children who are left without self-esteem, who hear only barks from a headache-y, drunk mother, and who endure beatings, are damaged because someone damaged them, and the "reason" or explanation" behind it, matters not at all.
God--the Peace that lives within us-- cannot abide anger and hate.
Try to be angry or hateful in your thoughts, and try to commit a gentle gesture, like a hug.It's very hard to do.
And try the reverse: Think peaceful thoughts while trying to be violent.
Impossible!
So, let's stay in "Peace" mode, kids.
The world has enough cruelty, already.
Peace,kids.
Preparing for a callback which entails creating a Foster-"Mother"(I use the term "mother" quite loosely, here)who is a mouthy, cruel, selfish bigot who earns her dollars by "fostering" poor African-American children.
What causes someone to behave in a cruel fashion? Sociopathy? Spite? Previous abuse?
In terms of outcome: it. just. doesn't. matter.
Hurt children, lost children, children who are left without self-esteem, who hear only barks from a headache-y, drunk mother, and who endure beatings, are damaged because someone damaged them, and the "reason" or explanation" behind it, matters not at all.
God--the Peace that lives within us-- cannot abide anger and hate.
Try to be angry or hateful in your thoughts, and try to commit a gentle gesture, like a hug.It's very hard to do.
And try the reverse: Think peaceful thoughts while trying to be violent.
Impossible!
So, let's stay in "Peace" mode, kids.
The world has enough cruelty, already.
Peace,kids.
Monday, August 16, 2010
Acting as a Spiritual Endeavor
Verrry tired. Soo tired, in fact, that I posted my entry for my "Lisa Allender Writes", in my "Practice What You Peace", (see entry, below).
But when I realized I'd posted here(I subsequently posted it where it belongs, at
Lisa Allender Writes, my main blog), I figured I'd share a mysterious moment, about this preparation in acting...I am:
Discovering that preparing to play a heroin-addicted mother of three girls(for a
short film, entitled "Just Us") is a spiritual endeavor.
Discovering the Mother's spiritual burdens, and my own.
I have had to release my preconceived ideas about both addiction, and what it is, to mother...in doing my research, I came across an essay written by a woman who lost her very young sister, to heroin. She commented how she'd "mothered" her sister, and how their own mother, had abandoned them. Given that my character in this film, does EXACTLY that--abandons her daughters, (because of her own descent into heroin addiction), I felt it was "destiny" for me to read her essay.
I think of it as the Universe "answering" me as I searched for words to fill my head,as my heart swells with the anger and harshness, and the incredible sense of loss I know she--the Mother I must create-- must feel.The loss of her family, her daughters, her sanity, her health--and eventually--her own life.
I posted a note--a "tribute" of sorts, at that site,to this young woman's essay and to her sister.
RIP, Ms. Kyndall Znidarsic. Much Peace to her sister, Nicole DelBuono.
Peace,kids.
But when I realized I'd posted here(I subsequently posted it where it belongs, at
Lisa Allender Writes, my main blog), I figured I'd share a mysterious moment, about this preparation in acting...I am:
Discovering that preparing to play a heroin-addicted mother of three girls(for a
short film, entitled "Just Us") is a spiritual endeavor.
Discovering the Mother's spiritual burdens, and my own.
I have had to release my preconceived ideas about both addiction, and what it is, to mother...in doing my research, I came across an essay written by a woman who lost her very young sister, to heroin. She commented how she'd "mothered" her sister, and how their own mother, had abandoned them. Given that my character in this film, does EXACTLY that--abandons her daughters, (because of her own descent into heroin addiction), I felt it was "destiny" for me to read her essay.
I think of it as the Universe "answering" me as I searched for words to fill my head,as my heart swells with the anger and harshness, and the incredible sense of loss I know she--the Mother I must create-- must feel.The loss of her family, her daughters, her sanity, her health--and eventually--her own life.
I posted a note--a "tribute" of sorts, at that site,to this young woman's essay and to her sister.
RIP, Ms. Kyndall Znidarsic. Much Peace to her sister, Nicole DelBuono.
Peace,kids.
Poetry At Callanwolde, last Wednesday, August 11th
Meant to post about last Wednesday's lover-ly evening at Poetry of Callanwolde.Kodac Harrison, in my opinion, the South's greatest songwriter-as-storyteller and poet man and guitarist, never fails to please.I was delighted to see Rupert Fike in attendance, as well as old pal, the very energetic and readying-herself-to-graduate GSU, Ms. T.J. Annunziata, and Professor Bob Wood from nearby Georgia Tech, too.
Fellow writer(she specializes in "flash-fiction")Ellen Lindquist joined ol' pal, Dan-Dan and me, and we listened intently to Kodac.After his Feature, Kodac sat down near me, and Ellen and he and I enjoyed hearing newbie poets read, at the late-night Open-Mic.Really, realy cool stuff, on a verrry hot evening.Ruth Windham always does a great job with the hospitality(cold drinks, and sweet and salty snacks)and the encouraging introductions.
Earlier on Wednesday, I stopped in at Outwrite, picked up a naughty card for a friend's birthday, and when I didn't find him at home,left him a HAPPY BIRTHDAY card, and some jasmine-tea, at his door.
I then met up with Atlanta director, Reggie Price, of the short film we are shooting soon, "Just Us". Reggie also wrote the screenplay. The actor who'll play my "baby-daddy", fellow-SAG-member, Louis C. Robins joined us, and the young actress who'll play my oldest daughter, beautiful Ms. Vitelle Webb, stopped in, too.
We took photos, and looked over location, etc.(The film will be shot in Forest Park, Georgia, soon).
So Wednesday was a great day, and this past weekend was great(see my earlier post, below!), too.
Peace,kids.
Fellow writer(she specializes in "flash-fiction")Ellen Lindquist joined ol' pal, Dan-Dan and me, and we listened intently to Kodac.After his Feature, Kodac sat down near me, and Ellen and he and I enjoyed hearing newbie poets read, at the late-night Open-Mic.Really, realy cool stuff, on a verrry hot evening.Ruth Windham always does a great job with the hospitality(cold drinks, and sweet and salty snacks)and the encouraging introductions.
Earlier on Wednesday, I stopped in at Outwrite, picked up a naughty card for a friend's birthday, and when I didn't find him at home,left him a HAPPY BIRTHDAY card, and some jasmine-tea, at his door.
I then met up with Atlanta director, Reggie Price, of the short film we are shooting soon, "Just Us". Reggie also wrote the screenplay. The actor who'll play my "baby-daddy", fellow-SAG-member, Louis C. Robins joined us, and the young actress who'll play my oldest daughter, beautiful Ms. Vitelle Webb, stopped in, too.
We took photos, and looked over location, etc.(The film will be shot in Forest Park, Georgia, soon).
So Wednesday was a great day, and this past weekend was great(see my earlier post, below!), too.
Peace,kids.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
God in Different Places
Lately, I find God in different places. In the scent of fresh-baked bread at the Alpharetta Farmer's Market, I thanked Him. In the patting of soft fur (a Bull Mastiff curled up near a doggie-biscuit booth at this same open-air market), I thanked Him. I thanked Him for the Southern Rice Salad from Chef Frank, and the shiny green bell peppers, fresh from the farm.
Later today, in the swirl of an ambulance's siren as I waited, reviewing lines at an audition, I paused to thank Him.I paused to breathe, to thank God for my own, healthy father, who remarked after his first(he's suffered and survived four) heart attack, "I heard the ambulance, Lisa, and thought: it's coming for me...")
I thanked God when I emerged from the audition, feeling it went well, feeling I had lived a great day, and looked forward to a great evening. An evening of pizza, with dear friend Susan H., and hubby Hansoo, at Antica Posta in Midtown, near Georgia Tech/Atlantic Station area, here in Atlanta.
And I'm home, readying myself for bed, thanking God for a gift of another day, well-lived.
Peace, kids.
Later today, in the swirl of an ambulance's siren as I waited, reviewing lines at an audition, I paused to thank Him.I paused to breathe, to thank God for my own, healthy father, who remarked after his first(he's suffered and survived four) heart attack, "I heard the ambulance, Lisa, and thought: it's coming for me...")
I thanked God when I emerged from the audition, feeling it went well, feeling I had lived a great day, and looked forward to a great evening. An evening of pizza, with dear friend Susan H., and hubby Hansoo, at Antica Posta in Midtown, near Georgia Tech/Atlantic Station area, here in Atlanta.
And I'm home, readying myself for bed, thanking God for a gift of another day, well-lived.
Peace, kids.
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Meditation and The Rosary
It's early Sunday morning, and a great time to pray.
The Rosary can be a useful tool for prayer.
Many folks do not realize it is a way of providing a focal point for meditation(much like Greek Orthodox "worry-beads", and Muslim "prayer beads"), which aids in concentration.
I personally love saying the Rosary just before dawn. It feels like the world is beginning all over again(even if only in my small part of this world)and saying it feels like hope.
Here's one of the prayers said, in a Rosary:
The Hail Mary
Hail Mary, Full of grace, the Lord is with Thee.
Blessed art thou amongst women,
And Blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God,
Pray for us sinners,
Now, and at the hour of our death,
Amen.
Try meditating on "...the hour of our death..."
and see if you don't have a greater appreciation for life. :)
The Rosary can be a useful tool for prayer.
Many folks do not realize it is a way of providing a focal point for meditation(much like Greek Orthodox "worry-beads", and Muslim "prayer beads"), which aids in concentration.
I personally love saying the Rosary just before dawn. It feels like the world is beginning all over again(even if only in my small part of this world)and saying it feels like hope.
Here's one of the prayers said, in a Rosary:
The Hail Mary
Hail Mary, Full of grace, the Lord is with Thee.
Blessed art thou amongst women,
And Blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God,
Pray for us sinners,
Now, and at the hour of our death,
Amen.
Try meditating on "...the hour of our death..."
and see if you don't have a greater appreciation for life. :)
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Saying My Peace.
It's not easy to post about Peace, in such a non-peaceful world.
Even as an Idealist, a Pacifist, I have my days and weeks of wondering,
"Will any of what I'm doing, ever make a real difference?" or "Will my legacy only be that I tried, but ultimately, I, and everyone like me, will fail----the world's peoples will continue to rail, to fight, to war with each other?"
There's no "clean" way to Peace, I am discovering. Sometimes, it means shouting back, but more often, it means whispering--even while others yell. It means holding one's hands up--not in surrender--but with a defensive stance, ever-ready with words of reason, and as clean and clear a heart, as one can summon.
This is where I am, right now, kids.
It's why I've not posted an entry at my beloved "Practice What You Peace", in so very, very long.
I'm troubled by the recent news that civilians are still being gunned down in the wars in Afghanistan, and Iraq. I'm troubled that it does not seem to matter WHO is President, these atrocities still occur.I'm troubled that loved ones in my life, still yell at me.For no reason, except that they are angry, and show little respect towards me.I'm troubled that it seems no matter how much I try to "still" the critic in my head, I still feel "inadequate", and not enough.That the humility I often feel, is simply insecurity, not the nod to the humility of Jesus Christ or Dr. MLK Jr., or Gandhi or other leaders of Peace that I desperately wish it were.
That maybe my life won't matter, in the end, for much at all.
That maybe none of this matters.
And then, as if on a cue from the cosmos....I think of my niece's smile, or the warm breath of my doggies, or when I'm in an audience, scanning the room, and seeing the eyes that focus in laser-like intensity on a poet reading their own words, and I think that while life is often hard--harder than as children we'd ever imagine it could be---it also has innumerable sweet moments.
And that's the reason, I guess, to keep on advocating for Peace.
For human, and civil rights, and justice, for ALL peoples--no matter their color, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, etc...so that the good moments, may always be (one day) much more plentiful, than the bad.
Here's to Peace.
And to no yelling.
Peace, kids.
Even as an Idealist, a Pacifist, I have my days and weeks of wondering,
"Will any of what I'm doing, ever make a real difference?" or "Will my legacy only be that I tried, but ultimately, I, and everyone like me, will fail----the world's peoples will continue to rail, to fight, to war with each other?"
There's no "clean" way to Peace, I am discovering. Sometimes, it means shouting back, but more often, it means whispering--even while others yell. It means holding one's hands up--not in surrender--but with a defensive stance, ever-ready with words of reason, and as clean and clear a heart, as one can summon.
This is where I am, right now, kids.
It's why I've not posted an entry at my beloved "Practice What You Peace", in so very, very long.
I'm troubled by the recent news that civilians are still being gunned down in the wars in Afghanistan, and Iraq. I'm troubled that it does not seem to matter WHO is President, these atrocities still occur.I'm troubled that loved ones in my life, still yell at me.For no reason, except that they are angry, and show little respect towards me.I'm troubled that it seems no matter how much I try to "still" the critic in my head, I still feel "inadequate", and not enough.That the humility I often feel, is simply insecurity, not the nod to the humility of Jesus Christ or Dr. MLK Jr., or Gandhi or other leaders of Peace that I desperately wish it were.
That maybe my life won't matter, in the end, for much at all.
That maybe none of this matters.
And then, as if on a cue from the cosmos....I think of my niece's smile, or the warm breath of my doggies, or when I'm in an audience, scanning the room, and seeing the eyes that focus in laser-like intensity on a poet reading their own words, and I think that while life is often hard--harder than as children we'd ever imagine it could be---it also has innumerable sweet moments.
And that's the reason, I guess, to keep on advocating for Peace.
For human, and civil rights, and justice, for ALL peoples--no matter their color, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, etc...so that the good moments, may always be (one day) much more plentiful, than the bad.
Here's to Peace.
And to no yelling.
Peace, kids.
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