Acting as a Spiritual Endeavor

Verrry tired. Soo tired, in fact, that I posted my entry for my "Lisa Allender Writes", in my "Practice What You Peace", (see entry, below).
But when I realized I'd posted here(I subsequently posted it where it belongs, at
Lisa Allender Writes, my main blog), I figured I'd share a mysterious moment, about this preparation in acting...I am:
Discovering that preparing to play a heroin-addicted mother of three girls(for a
short film, entitled "Just Us") is a spiritual endeavor.
Discovering the Mother's spiritual burdens, and my own.
I have had to release my preconceived ideas about both addiction, and what it is, to mother...in doing my research, I came across an essay written by a woman who lost her very young sister, to heroin. She commented how she'd "mothered" her sister, and how their own mother, had abandoned them. Given that my character in this film, does EXACTLY that--abandons her daughters, (because of her own descent into heroin addiction), I felt it was "destiny" for me to read her essay.
I think of it as the Universe "answering" me as I searched for words to fill my head,as my heart swells with the anger and harshness, and the incredible sense of loss I know she--the Mother I must create-- must feel.The loss of her family, her daughters, her sanity, her health--and eventually--her own life.
I posted a note--a "tribute" of sorts, at that site,to this young woman's essay and to her sister.
RIP, Ms. Kyndall Znidarsic. Much Peace to her sister, Nicole DelBuono.
Peace,kids.